What My Child’s Grave Means to Me 042
In a heartfelt episode, airing on the third anniversary of Orion’s death, Whitney reflects on the personal and sensitive topic of burial preferences. Sharing her own decisions for her son Orion’s remains, it becomes clear that it’s more complicated than just “burial or cremation?”
Even within a family there can be a diverse range of preferences regarding final resting places, as was the case with Whitney’s family, and speaks to what a personal choice it is.
But what if you’ve never thought about your own preferences let alone what you should do for your child’s body? And where do those choices factor in for surviving children? Ultimately, Whitney decided on a course of action that provided a sense of security and peace with long term plans for everyone.
But Whitney’s relationship with Orion's grave has changed over time. Initially, there was solace in visiting the grave as a family, celebrating birthdays and cherishing memories. But as time passed, Whitney’s thoughts became preoccupied with Orion's body, even leading to her imagining digging up his grave to be able to hold him once more —a manifestation of her grief and longing.
Gradually, Whitney stopped going to Orion’s grave. She felt she had to for her own mental health because of the anguish she felt every time she had to leave the cemetery. She realized that the absence of a headstone at Orion's grave didn't diminish the love and connection they share.
The blog post concludes with an empathetic message to readers who may be experiencing a similar struggle. It emphasizes that the presence or absence of a headstone does not define the love and remembrance they hold for their departed loved ones.
The post ends with a poignant statement: Whitney doesn’t know what she will be doing today in honor of Orion on the third anniversary of his death, but she knows that she won’t be at Orion's grave, highlighting the evolving nature of grief and the diverse ways in which individuals choose to honor and remember their loved ones.
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